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Grudges In Relationship

Grudges Or Resentments In A Relationship Can Lead To Hatred And Hostility

A romantic relationship is a beautiful thing. Having grudges in a relationship would be like going to a self-destructive path. In fact it would be counterintuitive to have resentments in a relationship. It can be extremely dangerous and it defeats the very purpose of being in a relationship. Some people hold deep grudges that may last a lifetime. They love that person but are unable to let their grudge go away. Most of these grudges are a result of an event that happened in the past. It is better to let go of the past and live in the present.

Grudges in general brings in a lot of bitterness in a relationship and drifts people apart. At times, there may be some temporary grudges in a relationship, but it depends on the two partners whether they hold the grudges or let them go away. It is advisable to forget the past and let go all the resentments and hatred in order to build a healthy and strong relationship. It is best never to let any grudge even crop in a relationship and the best way to do that is to extinguish the fire before it spreads too far and makes any collateral damage to a relationship. Whenever there are any signs of grudges, both partners must sit across a table and clear all their doubts.

We all know that holding grudges in a relationship can never be a good thing. But sometimes it becomes difficult to let our love come in agreement with the past mistakes. These grudges keep the past wounds fresh and active. There is a constant reminder in the mind which causes pain all the time. We opt to live in past experiences of pain which prevents us from experiencing happiness in the present time.

It’s important to understand what leads to holding grudges in a relationship in order to eradicate them. We somehow make ourselves the victim of something bad that someone did to us. It could be our partner or even someone else. Those negative experiences leaves a permanent mark in our heart and mind. It becomes difficult to let go off those feelings. At some point we even start enjoying living with those grudges.

Things like being betrayed or cheated in a relationship is one good example of having a grudge. We end up forgiving our partner for whatever bad they did, but the problem is that it’s a partial forgiveness. Pieces from those events still lingers in our mind. They don’t go away and that’s what the problem is. We consciously forgive our partner but subconsciously still feel hurt.

The only solution to remove all grudges from our relationship is by giving complete forgiveness. Only then can we live in peace. Only then can we lead a healthy relationship. If you find yourself not being able to do that, it is best to take a break and look at things from a distance, if you still can’t fully forgive, it’s best to end things because it’s not healthy to torture yourself and your partner every second.

An important thing to remember is that we hold grudges against people who mean something to us. We love them so much that we find it difficult to let go of them. In process, we keep carrying the grudges against them. One part of us pulls us towards them, while the other away. There is a constant tug-of-war going inside us.

All we need to do is make a decision, whether our love for that person is higher than those grudges and make a choice. If your love is greater than our grudges, then let go of your grudges. If your grudges are greater than your love, let go of your love. Both can’t and shouldn’t reside together in your heart at the same. All you need to do is some introspection and see who wins, your love or your grudges.
Date Posted/Updated On: 10/26/2016
Author: ispace1

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