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In Denial Of Break Up

In Denial Of A Heart Break Or Break Up Of A Romantic Relationship Is A Very Common Thing People Experience

In Denial Of Break Up

In Denial Of A Heart Break Or Break Up Of A Romantic Relationship Is A Very Common Thing People Experience

Read This: Breakup Quotes - Breakup Quotes And Sayings That Are Most Popular And Famous As They Are Widely Used In All Cultures And Societies All Over The World

Being In Denial Of Break Up:

All About Being In Denial Of A Heart Break Or Break Up Of A Romantic Relationship That One Must Know In Order To Accept The Bitter But True Reality

A romantic relationship is an out of the world experience. When that same awesome experience ends, it leads to big emotional turmoil. Most people go through the same process of grief that they go through when they have a loss in other forms such as a death of a loved one. The only difference here is that it is a death of a relationship than an actual person. This is where being in denial of a break up of a romantic relationship comes in.

The first stage of any sort of grief is being in denial. In fact, being in denial usually exist in some amount during the entire grieving process. Though, throughout the healing process, the feelings of being in denial keeps on reducing. Overcoming the denial feeling is the first major step towards recovering from the grief that the break up caused.

The basic definition of being in denial of a break up is that your brain refuses to accept the reality. It is unable to admit or recognize that whatever is happening is actually happening. It takes some time for the brain to get in tune with the actual events. All this is perfectly normal and almost everyone goes through this to some degree.

Being in denial of a break up is just like a jet-lag. When you travel across the world in a very short time, it takes some time for your brain to get accustomed to the new time zone. It usually follows the same pattern as where you were earlier. Then slowly it begins to follow and adopt the new time zone. Some people are able to make these transitions faster than others. Likewise, our brain needs a little time to accept the sudden changes and get used to the new environment.

The primary hurdle of being in denial of a break up is acknowledging that there is a problem. It’s hard for most people who are in a relationship to accept that there are unresolved issues. This un-acceptance of problems lead to fear and anxiety. No one can fix a problem unless they admit that there is a problem.

Some people can see that there is a problem in the relationship but refuses to admit that it’s anything to worry about. They think it’s just a passing issue that will soon go away by itself. This is the biggest mistake couples make. If you don’t catch and eradicate a problem, it will soon become a mammoth that will tear things apart. These problems are like termites that slowly erodes a relationship.

The biggest monster in the closet is accepting that the relationship because of the struggles has finally ended. Even though there may be clearly spoken words but still you feel that it is just another problem and things will soon get back to normal. You somehow believe that it is a temporary parting and you will soon reunite and everything will be hunky-dory. You keep carrying such feeling of denial until it becomes necessary to accept the break up.

One important factor that plays in being in denial is the level of emotional connection in your relationship. How close you two were and how good things once were. The stronger those feelings, the more difficult it will be to get over the feelings of denial of a break up. It is human nature, when we have something truly beautiful we somehow feel that it will last forever. This may be a good defense mechanism, but please pinch yourself and get out of the denial mode.

Reasons For Being In Denial Of Break Up:

Main Reasons For Being In Denial Of A Heart Break Or Break Up Of A Romantic Relationship That Most People Go Through:

Most people stay in the world of denial after they break up a romantic relationship. How long they stay in the denial zone varies. The better the things once were, the longer the denial period. The more attached the two people were, long the denial period. In other words, when we have something we try desire for, we somehow begin to believe that nothing can take it away from us.

The most important thing to note is that being in denial of a break up is a perfectly normal thing. Almost everyone goes through this phase. Although some people are stronger than others to fight themselves out of it faster than others. There are logical reasons of why people stay in denial.

People tend to go in denial more when things happen all of a sudden where it becomes difficult for your mind to be at the same pace as the happenings around you. It becomes a lot easier when things break up slowly and in which case your mind is easily able to travel with the actual events that are happening in your life. In either case, there is always some catching up needed to bring your state of mind in sync with reality. The larger the gap, the longer you are likely to stay in denial.

Staying in the denial period is nothing but being in an illusionary state of mind. This in fact is the first stage of grieving process after a break up. Almost everyone goes through it after a break up. It is in fact an important and helpful stage in getting over a relationship.

The most important benefit of staying in denial in the initial stage of a break up is that it helps us get through the worst stage of pain with ease. Staying in denial and slowly coming out of it by slowly accepting things gives us small doses of a bitter medicine. Things may become a lot more difficult if we have to face everything at once. Just imagine having full bottle of an awfully bitter medicine all at once. As we move away from being in denial, we move closer to accepting the break up.

When we stay in denial, we have feelings of hopes and not hopelessness. We always need to feel hopeful, not hopeless. When our entire world shatters all of a sudden, we need a glimmer of hope. That beacon of hope helps us in getting through a tough phase. It is different thing whether that hope will make everything alright, but never-the-less, having hope is always a positive sign.

Another great benefit of being in denial of a break up is that it keeps us alive. Even though everything we have always desired for has come to end, we still believe everything will be again be fine. Whether things will be again fine or not is not relevant. What matters most at that time is at least be able to function and fulfill our duties.

Remember that staying in denial is always better than getting into depression. It is often easier to get out of a denial phase than it is to get out of depression. So as you can see, being in denial of a break up has a positive side to it as well. In fact, things would be a lot worse without the denial stage. All you got to do is get your act together as soon as you can move on with your life after a break up.

When You Are In Denial Of Break Up:

Handling Your Feelings When You Are In Denial Of A Heart Break Or Break Up Of A Romantic Relationship

Staying in denial of a break up of a romantic relationship is normal and is the first step in the grieving process. It becomes a big problem when the feelings of denial lingers on and stays for too long. Hanging on to an old love for an extended period of time is a cause for serious concern. One must accept reality at some point. It’s like living in the past that no longer exists. Some of the ways to deal with the denial feelings are discussed below.

Understand that break up can be an unsurmountable loss and will require some time to fully recover from it. Your mind may tell you that it is a temporary phase and there are still hopes for things to become like they were. This indeed protects you from any panic attacks or big shocks. Give yourself time to slowly absorb the unforeseen happenings in your life.

Talk about your break up with your close friends and family and don’t hide a big storm in your heart. The more you talk to others about it, the more real it will become. Your close friends and family have your best in their heart and they will help you accept the reality. They may give you an insight that may not have occurred to you yet.

Let go of past and live in the present. Don’t hold on to good old memories. Get rid of everything that reminds you of the past. Take a pen and piece of paper and write with your own hand that it is over. Burn a physical photo of your ex and with that burn your memories too.

Focus on the future and stop dwelling the past. Look forward instead of backwards. No matter how much we want, we can’t live in the past. Keep a positive attitude and remind yourself that you have an excellent future. When one door closes, two other opens up.

Take proactive steps to get out of feelings of denial. Have a normal routine and get back with your life. Time doesn’t stay still for anyone. Stop wasting time on someone who no longer has any part in your life. Let bygones be bygones.

Work with a therapist if you need to. The therapist may not be able to remove your sorrows but they can definitely remove your feelings of denial. They are trained professionals, they do this for a living. Within a few sittings, you will be totally out of denial.

Analyze and dissect your relationship. Think of all the good and the bad things in it. Keep doing that until you reach a point of conclusion where you are able to find more bad things than good ones. You will slowly be convincing yourself that a break up was the right thing to do. This is perhaps the most effective way of getting out of denial and getting in tune with the reality. Remember, nobody in the whole world has access to the deepest part of your brain and heart. Make use of this access that you have and talk to your inner soul. If you do all this, you would be out of feelings of denial before you finish reading this article.

When Your Ex Is In Denial Of Break Up:

Handling Your Ex’s Feelings When They Are In Denial Of A Heart Break Or Break Up Of A Romantic Relationship

Sometimes it happens that you get over a break up rather quickly because your denial stage or overall grieving period was shorter than the other person’s. The other person gets stuck in denial for a longer period and refuses to accept things. This is more common then you lead the break up, but not always. Things can be really difficult for the other person when they are in denial. The other person refuses to exit the relationship despite you making every effort to explain politely that it is actually over. Some of the ways to ways to deal with the denial feelings of the other person are discussed below.

Make things very clear with clear words that the relationship has ended and there is no going back. It may sound harsh, but sometimes that’s what the other person needs to hear. Leave nothing ambiguous or vague. They are perhaps staying in a partial closure. You need to give them full and final closure and close the door completely. In fact, lock that door and throw the keys in the river. Make it clear that any form of communication will be unwelcome.

Totally close all sources of contact. No more meetings, emails, text messages, or any sort of contact. If you live in the same neighborhood, try not to bump into them. If you work in the same office or go to the same school, try to stay as far away from each other as you possibly can. Avoid any common hangout places, clubs, restaurant, etc. Make every effort to minimize all sorts of contact.

Don’t lead on the other person by playing mind games. You yourself may be going through a confused state of mind. There may be times when you may want to make things right. But if you have made up your mind to break up, don’t confuse the other person. Doing so will a big emotional mess.

Be firm but don’t be mean to the other person. You must understand and be respectful of the other person’s feelings. Be compassionate and try to understand their pain. Remember, the other person may be going through the same things that you may have gone through. The only difference is that it was a lot easier for you than it is for them.

Remember that it is just a passing phase and it won’t be like this forever. Give the other person time to deal with the pain that they are going through. The other person is just overwhelmed with a lot of emotions and feelings. So be understanding and respectful of their feelings.

If nothing works and things appear to get out of control, it may be time to take some stern actions. You have been awfully patient and made every effort to get through to you ex but all went in vain. Things go totally out of hands and becomes a nuisance. It may be advisable to create some legal boundaries to protect yourself. Remember that your safety comes first.

When your ex is not willing to accept a break up, it all comes down to setting boundaries. Just try your best to remain kind and humane during the entire process. It is just a matter of time before your ex will realize and takes an exit. Until then, just be kind and patient. The pain that comes with a break up can be very bad and some of us needs more time than others to cope up with this pain.
Read This: Ways To Move On After Break Up - 100 Ways To Move On After Break Up Of A Long Steady But Emotionally Challenging Romantic Relationship
June 29 ,2019

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