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Jokes Quotes And Sayings

Quotes And Sayings About Jokes

Jokes Quotes And Sayings

Quotes And Sayings About Jokes

Read This: Focus Quotes And Sayings - Quotes And Sayings About Focus

Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.
~By Judd Nelson ~


It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh.
~By Malcolm Muggeridge ~


We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
~By Fred Allen ~


Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
~By George Mikes ~


You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
~By Ron White ~


For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
~By Laurence Sterne ~


Remember, if you do the same act for 20, 30 years it gets a little boring unless you've got something else going for you... And the orchestra really kept you going. They'd laugh at all your jokes, even if they'd been hearing them for the last 30 years.
~By Donald O'Connor ~


I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.
~By David Antin ~


When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
~By Megan Fox ~


It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.
~By Mo Rocca ~


Everyone for the most part is really nice. There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight. You can't make everyone completely happy.
~By Tina Yothers ~


People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
~By Dolly Parton ~


I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
~By Simon Le Bon ~


We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that.
~By Jennifer Saunders ~


I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.
~By Glen Campbell ~


I'm definitely the worker. My brother is the jokester.
~By Taryn Manning ~


Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what.
~By Jackson Browne ~


My whole life, I've been telling jokes.
~By Brad Garrett ~


Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well.
~By Will Arnett ~


I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
~By Mitch Hedberg ~


Jokes are grievances.
~By Marshall McLuhan ~


I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
~By Tim Vine ~


You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.
~By Hector Elizondo ~


Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
~By Robert Frost ~


Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
~By Carey Williams ~


I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
~By James Humes ~


I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in. This album has proven that somewhere in the human race, the human heart is still racing and breaking and I am so grateful.
~By Barry Manilow ~


The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes.
~By Adrian Edmondson ~


Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.
~By Margaret Mahy ~


Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
~By Robert Collier ~


All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.
~By Yahoo Serious ~


When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes.
~By Graham Kennedy ~


Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
~By Joel McHale ~


This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included.
~By Kevin Sorbo ~


I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
~By Sandra Bernhard ~


A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff. But most of it was all character situations leading to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character.
~By Shawn Wayans ~


Comedy, at least the way I write comedy, is just drama with jokes.
~By Rob Walton ~


In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
~By David Cross ~


The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that.
~By Simon Pegg ~


Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.
~By Martin Short ~


It's not like we have a formula, but I think one of the reasons this show has survived is that it has a big heart at its center. Other cartoon shows have people crap on each other and make racist jokes. But I don't think people tune in for that. I just don't think a show lasts for 10 years without a heart.
~By Trey Parker ~


They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.
~By Mike Epps ~


When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
~By Seth MacFarlane ~


You can't just yell jokes at people.
~By David Cross ~


One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.
~By Desi Arnaz ~


Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
~By Frank Muir ~


Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
~By George Eliot ~


There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.
~By Mose Allison ~


If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be cracking jokes. It's like Beavis and Butthead.
~By Nikki Sixx ~


The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
~By Corey Feldman ~


Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
~By Rob Corddry ~


It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
~By Wanda Sykes ~


Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
~By Seth MacFarlane ~


I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold.
~By Bernhard Langer ~


My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
~By Carrot Top ~


The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
~By David Ogilvy ~


My driver Kellie Frost and I would race these fellows home and they were always faster on the highway. We did the same with Daniel and his driver, and thus began a long series of jokes and competitions to alleviate the impossible hours and tensions this film provoked.
~By Madeleine Stowe ~


'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes.
~By James McAvoy ~


Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
~By John Lasseter ~


A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
~By George Eliot ~


I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
~By Steve Harvey ~


I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.
~By Matt Groening ~


When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents!
~By Dick Bruna ~


In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
~By Frank Dane ~


You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
~By Dylan Moran ~


I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
~By Marilyn Monroe ~


Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
~By Rue McClanahan ~


I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes.
~By Sherilyn Fenn ~


People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off.
~By Sanaa Lathan ~


I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this.
~By Julia Sweeney ~


Most jokes state a bitter truth.
~By Larry Gelbart ~


All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
~By Mitch Hedberg ~


I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
~By Robert Goulet ~


A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
~By Eugene Ionesco ~


A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
~By Zac Efron ~


A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
~By Ludwig Wittgenstein ~


There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories.
~By Neil Gaiman ~


I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
~By Mark Russell ~


When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
~By Evan Dando ~


I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
~By Will Rogers ~


I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
~By Drew Carey ~


It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
~By Thomas Aquinas ~


If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
~By Bob Edwards ~


There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
~By Larry David ~


I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
~By Tahar Ben Jelloun ~


I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
~By Allan Sloan ~


I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.
~By Sam Kinison ~


I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
~By David Letterman ~


Don't make jokes about food.
~By David Lean ~


I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
~By Samantha Bee ~


Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes.
~By Ashley Tisdale ~


I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.
~By Bob Woodward ~


I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
~By Neil LaBute ~


One of the jokes on our flight is that, if we have a normal entry day going, the plan is for me... to actually take the orbiter first and fly it for maybe 10 or 15 seconds and then hand it on over to Scooter.
~By Duane G. Carey ~


Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.
~By Stella Benson ~


It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.
~By Keenen Ivory Wayans ~


Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
~By Washington Irving ~


The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
~By David Letterman ~


I never really was much of a practical jokester or anything.
~By Kristanna Loken ~


I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw them or use them again is that I like to use my brain every day and come up with new jokes.
~By Sergio Aragones ~

Read This: Surrealism Quotes And Sayings - Quotes And Sayings About Surrealism
September 29 ,2020


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