Jokes Quotes And Sayings

Quotes And Sayings About Jokes

Read This: Challenge Quotes And Sayings

The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
~By Corey Feldman ~


I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, does he?
~By Ian St. John ~


The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes.
~By Adrian Edmondson ~


The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
~By Heywood Broun ~


I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.
~By Jensen Ackles ~


I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
~By Steve Harvey ~


Comedy, at least the way I write comedy, is just drama with jokes.
~By Rob Walton ~


It's not like we have a formula, but I think one of the reasons this show has survived is that it has a big heart at its center. Other cartoon shows have people crap on each other and make racist jokes. But I don't think people tune in for that. I just don't think a show lasts for 10 years without a heart.
~By Trey Parker ~


It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.
~By Keenen Ivory Wayans ~


One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.
~By Desi Arnaz ~


My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
~By Cathy Guisewite ~


The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
~By David Letterman ~


Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
~By Frank Muir ~


When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes.
~By Graham Kennedy ~


There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories.
~By Neil Gaiman ~


'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes.
~By James McAvoy ~


In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
~By David Cross ~


For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
~By Laurence Sterne ~


Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
~By Seth MacFarlane ~


In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
~By Frank Dane ~


All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.
~By Yahoo Serious ~


I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.
~By Matt Groening ~


Everyone for the most part is really nice. There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight. You can't make everyone completely happy.
~By Tina Yothers ~


I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold.
~By Bernhard Langer ~


I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
~By Kathy Griffin ~


Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what.
~By Jackson Browne ~


We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
~By Fred Allen ~


I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.
~By David Antin ~


I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
~By Tahar Ben Jelloun ~


I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
~By Samantha Bee ~


A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
~By Eugene Ionesco ~


I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
~By Allan Sloan ~


I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw them or use them again is that I like to use my brain every day and come up with new jokes.
~By Sergio Aragones ~


Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
~By Washington Irving ~


You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
~By Ron White ~


I never really was much of a practical jokester or anything.
~By Kristanna Loken ~


Remember, if you do the same act for 20, 30 years it gets a little boring unless you've got something else going for you... And the orchestra really kept you going. They'd laugh at all your jokes, even if they'd been hearing them for the last 30 years.
~By Donald O'Connor ~


It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.
~By Brian P. Cleary ~


Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
~By Robert Collier ~


Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.
~By Margaret Mahy ~


Jokes are grievances.
~By Marshall McLuhan ~


There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.
~By Mose Allison ~


Well, there are conjoined twins in real life and we can tell a story about them so long as they're not the brunt of the jokes. In this, they're the heroes of this story; we love these guys.
~By Bobby Farrelly ~


The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
~By David Ogilvy ~


I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes.
~By Sherilyn Fenn ~


A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
~By Zac Efron ~


Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
~By George Mikes ~


My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
~By Carrot Top ~


I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
~By Rainn Wilson ~


When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
~By Seth MacFarlane ~


Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes.
~By Aries Spears ~


I'm definitely the worker. My brother is the jokester.
~By Taryn Manning ~


Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
~By Rob Corddry ~


Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
~By Rue McClanahan ~


I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this.
~By Julia Sweeney ~


I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
~By Will Rogers ~


I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you're allowed to make jokes. I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything.
~By Boy George ~


But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake.
~By Parker Posey ~


I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in. This album has proven that somewhere in the human race, the human heart is still racing and breaking and I am so grateful.
~By Barry Manilow ~


Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
~By George Eliot ~


A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
~By George Eliot ~


I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
~By Tim Vine ~


Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.
~By Judd Nelson ~


Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.
~By Stella Benson ~


I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers.
~By Armistead Maupin ~


You can't just yell jokes at people.
~By David Cross ~


It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
~By Thomas Aquinas ~


I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.
~By Sam Kinison ~


If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father.
~By Mary Todd Lincoln ~


I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
~By James Humes ~


When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
~By Megan Fox ~


My whole life, I've been telling jokes.
~By Brad Garrett ~


Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
~By Joel McHale ~


Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
~By John Lasseter ~


I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
~By Robert Goulet ~


My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
~By Emo Philips ~


Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
~By Robert Frost ~


One of the jokes on our flight is that, if we have a normal entry day going, the plan is for me... to actually take the orbiter first and fly it for maybe 10 or 15 seconds and then hand it on over to Scooter.
~By Duane G. Carey ~


I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
~By Sarah Michelle Gellar ~


It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.
~By Mo Rocca ~


You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
~By Dylan Moran ~


The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show, write all the dialog, and decide the mood, action, jokes, pacing, etc of every scene.
~By Craig McCracken ~


I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
~By Dolly Parton ~


There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
~By Larry David ~


Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.
~By Martin Short ~


I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
~By Drew Carey ~


Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
~By Nick Clooney ~


If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
~By Bob Edwards ~


Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.
~By Mike Epps ~


I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
~By Neil LaBute ~


I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
~By Dan Hicks ~


All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
~By Mitch Hedberg ~


I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
~By Simon Le Bon ~


If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be cracking jokes. It's like Beavis and Butthead.
~By Nikki Sixx ~


It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
~By Wanda Sykes ~


A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
~By Ludwig Wittgenstein ~


I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
~By Sandra Bernhard ~


This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included.
~By Kevin Sorbo ~


We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that.
~By Jennifer Saunders ~


You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.
~By Hector Elizondo ~

Read This: Harmony Quotes And Sayings
May 26 ,2022
All content on this page is copyright protected by ispace1. No part of the content on this page should be copied or republished in any manner without obtaining our prior necessary written permission.
Related Articles
Cute Quotes And Sayings
Quotes And Sayings About Cute
Greed Quotes And Sayings
Quotes And Sayings About Greed
Fashion Quotes And Sayings
Quotes And Sayings About Fashion
Wishes Quotes And Sayings
Quotes And Sayings About Wishes
Resolution Quotes And Sayings
Quotes And Sayings About Resolution